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Terms & Conditions

Terms of Use

Effective Date: September 6, 2025

Welcome to The New Yerr Times (“we,” “our,” “us,” or the “Site”). By accessing or using our website [newyerrtimes.com], you agree to the following Terms of Use. If you do not agree, you should not use the Site.

1. Nature of Content

  • The New Yerr Times publishes satire, parody, and fictional content.

  • Articles, images, and stories on this Site are not factual, even if they appear realistic.

  • Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental (and usually funny).

2. No Liability

  • The Site is provided “as is” and “as available.”

  • We make no guarantees about the accuracy, reliability, or availability of the Site.

  • We are not responsible for any damages, losses, or consequences resulting from your use of or reliance on content published here.

  • If you believed one of our rats really swiped a MetroCard, that’s on you.

3. Accessibility

  • We make reasonable, good-faith efforts to improve accessibility on the Site.

  • We do not guarantee full compliance with ADA, WCAG, or other accessibility standards.

  • We are not liable for accessibility issues and are under no obligation to make modifications or accommodations on request.

  • By using this Site, you accept that accessibility is provided on a “best effort” basis.

4. Intellectual Property

  • All content, branding, and images on this Site are the property of The New Yerr Times, unless otherwise noted.

  • You may share or repost content for non-commercial purposes, provided proper credit is given.

  • Commercial use, reproduction, or modification without permission is prohibited.

5. Third-Party Links

  • Our Site may contain links to third-party websites.

  • We are not responsible for the content, policies, or practices of third-party sites.

6. User Conduct

By using this Site, you agree not to:

  • Post or transmit unlawful, offensive, or harmful material.

  • Attempt to disrupt or interfere with the Site’s functionality.

  • Misrepresent our content as factual reporting.

7. Governing Law

These Terms are governed by the laws of the State of New York, without regard to conflict of law principles.

8. Changes to Terms

We may update or modify these Terms at any time. Updated versions will be posted with a revised “Effective Date.” Continued use of the Site constitutes acceptance of any changes.

9. Contact Us

For questions about these Terms (or to pitch us a story about pigeons in politics), contact us at:
📧 newyerrtimes@gmail.com

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