🚨 NYC High School Student Arrested After Promising to “Drop Final Like It’s Drill”—Turns Out He Just Hates Arithmetic
- Mikey “No-Napkins” Romano
- Sep 20
- 2 min read
QUEENS, NY — In what administrators are calling the most calculus moment of 2025, a 16-year-old from Benjamin Cardozo High School was arrested this morning for bringing a loaded 9mm handgun to school — but not because he planned violence. According to sources, the student’s main gripe was this: “Why do I have to know how to find a derivative when my phone autocorrects everything wrong anyway?”
He even posted on Instagram, protesting pop quizzes and “function functions,” promising to “drop the final like it’s drill” if they didn’t bring back multiple choice. Police say the gun was one of more than 4,000 seized in NYC already this year.
🎯 The Drama
The student, named Jamal “Calc King” Rivera (not his real name, but definitely what his math teachers whispered), posted a video in which he solemnly declared war on his upcoming exams. His caption: “Guess who’s going testless or bulletless.”
Word is, he showed up Tuesday with the gun in his backpack, citing “pressure and x’s on the test.” When confronted, he said he thought he was preparing for an “extreme quiz edition.”
Security was increased after the video went viral among seniors who said they were tired of memorizing the quadratic formula.
🧤 Comments & Reactions
Math teachers are outraged. One veteran teacher was heard screaming, “We didn’t sign up for rap battles over slope-intercept form!”
The school principal wants to bring in test-negotiators.
On TikTok and X, memes have erupted: students posting pictures of textbooks with drill-rap lyrics overlaid.
Security scanners being proposed — not just for backpacks, but for pencils.
⚖️ The Legal & Social Aftermath
Jamal is charged with criminal possession of a weapon and making a terroristic threat. Bail was set high.
The district is promising stricter protocols, mental health resources, and “test day snack packs” with anxiety gummies.
Parents are confused. One mom said, “He has no trouble texting ‘lol’ and ‘smh’ — but ask him for a derivative, and suddenly world war three.”
NYC’s teen gun charge story is trending — “loaded gun at school,” “student hates tests,” “drill rap final meme” — all phrases popping up in searches and social feeds.
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